Soul Beautiful – Enitan Bereola, II

 (This pretty lady is model Ms. Sharika "Kitty" King. Would you be too shy to speak to a woman like this?)

She’s too pretty to be single = She’s too pretty for me.

Gentlemen, you’re all guilty of this: You’re minding your own business until she walks by. Never in your existence have your eyes had the absolute pleasure of experiencing something so amazing. “This is crazy,” you say to yourself. “Never have I seen a woman so damn beautiful …” At least not since the lady you saw at the club yesterday. But she’s not important at the moment – this woman is breathtaking! You extend a lengthy glance and find yourself stuck in the middle of a decision that needs to be made posthaste. Your instincts tell you to approach, but your reasoning tells you she’s way too sexy to be single. You end up settling for your own drool and a dopey smile.


Before Kelly Rowland wanted to be your “Motivation,” the former ‘Destiny’s Child’ star had a ballad titled, “Every Thought Is You,” where she sang: I’m dealing with this feeling of infatuation / Pacing, don’t wanna force the situation / Waiting for you to make a move, no hesitation / I’m thinking maybe this could turn into something more / I’m feeling you boy you got me open for sure. Like most beautiful women, Ms. Kelly Rowland is venting about the initial frustration of waiting on a man to make a damn move.

Pretty women are always getting compliments, but never getting dates. For the sake of ego, an unconfident man will deflect his weakness in the form of a compliment. These pretty women don’t get asked out because men think they’ve already been asked out while no one is asking them out. The fact is pretty girls get lonely too. Beautiful women have long taken abuse from other women for being so pretty, when in reality, they’re not dating as often as one would think. Ironically, being physically attractive can be a curse to some women.

Pretty ladies, this is for you: If your beauty reveals an adult male’s insecurities, perhaps he’s not an adult after all. You’re not obligated to entertain an adult child. Giving a man whom you have no interest your phone number to make him go away is like giving a pigeon some food to make it go away. It takes some men less courage to get into a fistfight than it does to approach you. The best way to let us know you’re not interested is to simply let us know you’re not interested. And don’t let your beauty rule you. It takes more than face to win first place. Beauty may get you a date – but substance gets you a ring. Being pretty and lonely must be pretty lonely. You ain’t so sexy if your soul ain’t sexy. Be better than beautiful.

Gentlemen, this is for you: She’s not “too pretty,” your self-esteem is just too low. There’s no justifiable excuse to have the courage to kill, fight, battle and brawl – but fear approaching a pretty woman. Don’t assume she’s taken because she’s beautiful. Be honest and upfront about what you want because she’s likely thinking the same thing. Pretty girls need love too.

I once witnessed a woman so beautiful that she made my toes curl. Never in my existence had my eyes been afforded the absolute pleasure of experiencing something like her. An ocean without her was a bathtub. A vacation without her was a layover. She made everything beautiful, but I didn’t assume she was taken so I introduced myself. It’s now safe for the next man to assume she’s taken ;)

Loyal lover, freaky friend and wonderful wife – A lady wants to be all of these things… all you have to do is approach.

Pleasantries.

– Enitan Bereola, II

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Bereola is the go-to style and etiquette impresario, public speaker and entrepreneur. He is also the author of the critically acclaimed BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate. He is working on his follow-up, Guide to Ladies’ Etiquette from a Gentleman’s Perspective. Find him at his new website bereolaesque-online.com, or@bereolaesque on Twitter as well as his Facebook fan page.